Part 22- The Calm Before The Storm

Dear All,

It really warms my heart to see that Life Love Destiny has generated such a good response from you. Thank you for all your kind words it means a lot to me! I would also appreciate any criticism (if any lol) and your takes on any of the posts. If you would like to receive an email each time there’s a new post, please click on “follow” at the top of this screen and you will be automatically subscribed.

Much Love,

LLD
____________________________________________

It felt as though my calm and orderly world did a random spin and was now standing in an angle, at the edge of a cliff, in the middle of nowhere. A bit over the top and dramatic I know but that’s exactly how I felt.
Zainab had poured her heart out to me and I felt guilty as hell for all the times I had judged her, made side comments at her and scolded her. She was probably smarter than me. How could I do to someone what others once did to me?
And then Faseeha had to make her grand entry! I only met her once and chatted to her on bbm for 10 minutes max, we didn’t know each other well enough to have lunch in my surgery or for her to introduce herself as my prospective bride! Fair enough, my mother really liked her and was hoping I would too. She was my “someone “I was supposed to meet this morning.
When Zai left, Faseeha made herself comfy in my surgery when I took her by surprise and said I need to drop Zai as she had come with me this morning and it was my responsibility to get her home. She said it was sweet and wanted to come with. I didn’t hesitate to decline and ran out. I had a feeling that Zai wasn’t okay and I was right. My heart really did ache when she cried in my car. I didn’t say a word. Sometimes you just need to cry,get it all out. Even though I thought I knew why she was crying but it just felt as though there was more to it.
I drove around aimlessly for about half an hour before I got back to work. Faseeha was still there!
Faseeha: is everything ok?
Me: yeah
Faseeha: is there anything I can do?
Me: like? ( That was me don’t look so shocked woman)
Faseeha: I don’t know maybe you’d like to talk about whatever happened?
Me: I’m good
Faseeha: I brought us some lunch..
Me: I’m sorry. Its hard to explain everything, you’re trying and I’m being rude. Let me get Nancy to warm up our lunch

I forced myself to eat while Faseeha told me about her life,her friends and her dream wedding. I tried to look as interested as possible but I found my mind drifting every few seconds. If Zai hadn’t told me whatever she had, I probably wouldn’t have reacted in this way to Faseeha.
You know when you confide in someone, your soul is bared, its like an open wound that now needs caring. There was so much I wanted to tell her to motivate her and this whole day was supposed to have been about us spending time together and now…
Faseeha: would you like to go out later? Maybe watch a movie?
I didn’t hear her.
Faseeha: Arshad?
Arshad: hmm?
She smiled. Looked at me for a few seconds and asked again “would you like to go out for a movie later?”
Did a girl just ask me out?
Arshad: I’ll let you know Faseeha, sorry but I’ve got a patient coming in, in a bit. If you don’t mind I need to sort a few things out before that.
She had a wounded look on her face. I didn’t mean it in a bad way but she could have sensed something was up, why push it?
Faseeha: okay, I’ll wait for a message from you.
And with that she put her hand over mines and squeezed it gently made her salaam and went away.

I twiddled my thumbs deciding on whether to call or message Zai. Message,call,call,message agh you get it. I am not the one who’s faced with situations like these! Its just never happened before

I dial Zai’s number and as expected, she didn’t answer. So I left her a bbm.
“Zai I need to talk to you please. Don’t shut me out 😦 No matter what the time, please call me or send me a message…il be there, always ”
And I left it at that. I felt sad because she was sad, my heart cried because her heart cried, please Zai talk to me…
—————————-
It felt like Maahera and Faheem all over again. Okay Arshad was no looker like Faheem but for some reason the scenario had a very similar feeling.
My tears wouldn’t stop, I couldn’t stop thinking about how I lost all those months and how stuck I am in my life. I wanted to do something with my life so badly and it hurt so much..
I can tell you now though, I DO NOT like Faseeha! I know I said not to judge a book by its pretty cover BUT there was just something about her that was unnerving. The way she reminded me of Maahera, the way she looked at me, the way she introduced herself.
Was my Arshad going to end up with her???NEVER!!

I wept into my pillow yet again…and cried myself to sleep..my life…had. no. purpose
– – – — – – – – – — – – – — – — – — – – — – – — – – — – – — — – — – — – –
calm

cbs

il

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