Part 37- Can’t see you cry…

hellooo…this post was supposed to come out tomorrow, here’s an early dose for you since soo many of you are going into depression…mwah toodles

We left shortly after dessert, everyone was tired. It had been a long and eventful day. We gathered outside and said our goodbyes. Then tension between Aara and Nemo was weird. Soon Arshad,Zainab and Maariah left, Nemo left and then Laeeka and I had left…

Aara: thanks for a lovely evening
Zoheb: don’t go just yet
Aara: why (raising an eyebrow)
Zoheb: just….
Aara: ?
Zoheb: okay okay headmistress I’m waiting for something please will you wait with me
Aara: ℓ☺ℓ are you scared to be alone?
Zoheb: (rolling my eyes)
Aara: oh stop it, rolling eyes doesn’t suit you!
Zoheb: so, what’s up? You looked very down when you came
Aara: *shrugging her shoulders* long story
Zoheb: I’ll take that as a “I don’t want to tell you”
Aara: I didn’t..
Zoheb: hey, its okay. We barely know each other I’m not offended relax
Aara: *small smile*
Waiter: your parcel sir
Zoheb: aah thanks so much
Waiter: its a pleasure sir, goodnight
Zoheb: now madam, this is what I was waiting for. This is for you
Aara: what is it
Zoheb: food! Come let me walk you to your car
Aara: why are you giving me food???
Zoheb: you said you wished you could have eaten the prawns and steak etc etc so I ordered it for you along with another slice of chocolate cheesecake:)
Aara: *big smile* you whaaat?
Zoheb: I .Ordered. You. Some. Food
Aara: (ℓ☺ℓ ) you shouldn’t have
Zoheb: *sigh* women ( putting the packet in Aara’s car) jump in, I’m going to follow you home
Aara: please man I’m a big girl
Zoheb: I know but I wouldn’t put it past you to stop on the freeway and start eating while its hot so move move now
Aara: (ℓ☺ℓ !!!) Funny
Zoheb: I know 🙂
__________________

Zoheb was sweet enough to wait until I was in my complex yard before he drove off. First impressions can be so wrong.

I parked my car, took out the packet and headed up my stairs when I saw him sitting there, on the steps closest to my front door with his head in his hands.

I was so tempted to reach out to him,but I walked right passed him and opened my door. I stood there for a few seconds before going inside and as I was about to close the door he asked” so it’s like this now, you’re not even going to tell me to come inside”
I didn’t say a word, left the door open and went inside.
After a few minutes I heard him come inside and lock the door.

Nemo: Aara..

I didn’t answer him.

Nemo: (now standing in the kitchen, I suddenly lost my appetite for the food I so badly wanted to eat) Aara…

I still didn’t answer.

He walked up to me and turned me around to face him.

Nemo: forgive me please…

I still didn’t answer

Nemo: please talk to me…

I still didn’t answer.

Nemo: I’m sorry sweetheart, you’re killing me here

I took his hands off my arms and walked away from him.

Nemo: please Aara please I’m sorry I’m very,very sorry…talk to me ( and he started crying)

My heart broke into millions of pieces all at once. this was my best friend, my childhood friend, I’ve known him all my life. I held myself back from turning around to face him, and slowly walked to my room and said “shut the door on your way out” and I closed my room door. I felt myself slump onto the carpet as I closed the door. I held the door and cried silently. I could hear Nemo outside my room, sitting on the floor with his body against the door.

Nemo: I know what you’re thinking…I promise you its not like that (sobbing)

I didn’t answer

Nemo: I can’t go on like this…Aara you are my world…please don’t punish me like this I’m begging you, please I’m a jerk I’m an idiot I do stupid things. Swear me, hit me but talk to me please (and he sobbed like a little child)

All I could see infront of me was little Naeem, when he fell down and hurt himself and I took my handkerchief and tied it around his knee. This was the same Naeem crying at my door how could I shut him out?
“He needs to learn” I told myself trying to convince myself that it was best.

“Please open the door, I’m breaking inside Aara please…” And he cried harder..

I couldn’t take it anymore. I’ve never heard him cry like this before… I got off the floor and opened the door. Nemo stood up quickly. His eyes were red and puffy. He looked at me and he could see that I was crying too. He came closer and wiped a tear off my cheek. “I’m sorry”he said again. Be firm I told myself be firm.
“Apology accepted, now go”
He stepped back in surprise.
” You said you’re sorry, I accepted. That’s what you came here to say isn’t it?”

Nemo: why are you talking like this ( softly)
Aara: like what?
Nemo: like you don’t care
Aara: that’s the problem. I care too much
Nemo: I’m sorry I’m sorry sorry sorry ( he pleaded)
Aara: and what comes after the sorry? A repeat of the same thing? And then, what, sorry again?
Nemo put his head down.
Aara: come here ( and I held his hand and took him into the lounge and made him sit on the sofa)

I sat on the floor infront of him and put my hands on his knees.

Aara: Nemo, I’m not mad at you just because of Zoheb…but because…I saw in your eyes what I saw two years ago…

Nemo: Aara no…

Aara: let me finish…look at you( holding his face) this face doesn’t look good when its covered in anger. I’m so happy to hear that you’re going back to work, its a huge step forward for you. I remember you, when you used to hold my hand when I would balance on a plank, I remember you when you wouldn’t take your face out of your books, when you would ace everything you did. Why do you want to throw all of it away? Your life, has no direction, soon you will want to marry someone, do you want to support your family with your own money or your fathers money? And all of a sudden this anger towards Zoheb..for what?

Nemo: if I tell you, you will stop talking to me..

Me: try me?

Nemo: I can’t stand it when he’s close to you Aara, I feel as though you’re going away from me…and the fact that you’re enjoying his company just makes it worse

Me: Nemo I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be there for you okay. And yeah Zoheb is a nice guy but you’re my best friend you don’t need to feel threatened. I want to see you prosper in your life and..

Nemo: and…

Me: you need a break from me

Nemo: what! No!

Me: hear me out, you need to find yourself without me being in your face. I’ll still be there but space it out a little okay…

Nemo: you’re pushing me away from you…(And a tear fell out of his eye)

Me: (immediately holding him ) I would never do that to you and whatever I’m doing now is for you. Do you trust me?

Nemo: with my life (kissing my hands and crying)

Me: heyyy…when I say space I mean 2-3 days space at a time okay not forever and besides when we were in campus you used to pull one and a half weeks without me remember (trying to lighten things up)

Nemo: a lot has changed since then…

Me: tell you what, when I come back I’ll spend a whole day only with you and you can tell me everything

Nemo: (small smile and pulling my nose) don’t ever ignore me again ok..you don’t know what you are to me

Me: and by the way thank you for the compliment and you look very handsome yourself (smiling)

Nemo: thank you sweetheart

And with that both of us started crying again

Me: I can’t lose you again Nemo, I was scared it was happening again

Nemo: (sitting on the carpet with me now) what happened two years ago will never happen again(putting my head on his shoulder) you’re my best friend and I love you very much

Me: I love you too Nemo but you got to stop acting like a jerk

Nemo: (laughing) I’ll try

———————–
Aara didn’t feel for me what I felt for her, I knew that. But it didn’t change anything for me. I have had many girlfriends but I never loved any of them…it was always her. I’ve let her down so many times and it wasn’t going to happen again. I was going to man up and prove to everyone that there was more to me than what appeared on the surface. And I was going to win Aara’s heart no matter what it took. The two of us sitting here together alone is the way it should be.

There was no room for a third person…there was no room for any Zoheb and I was going to make sure of that!