Part 44 – Nemo Mamoo :-p

”This post is dedicated to all you wonderful mums out there, and a special dua to all the mums we have lost…may you be granted the highest stages in Jannah …your legacy and love lives on”

“Why are you sounding as though someone stole your breakfast bro”…I asked Arshad as he frantically tried to explain himself.
Arshad: I need your help NOW!! Please come home
Me(Nemo): its Jummah dude and its already 11 and I’m at work you know. Stop hyperventilating and tell me what’s wrong
Arshad: the pictures from Lady my Lady was couried to my house and my mother is flipping!

Me: hehehehehe yo bro what did you do that’s so bad???

Arshad: (slightly embarassed) I got so caught up playing dress up now my mother wants to call one of these “healers” home because she thinks I’m gay!!

Me: *bust* ℓ☺ℓ! That’s ridiculous! Okay listen up, I’ll come to your place after Jummah and I’ll talk to your mum DON’T STRESS!!

Arshad: please bro..don’t forget
Me: I won’t Arshoo relax now

Gosh recently Arshad has just not been short of any dramas in his life! Once a plain,boring guy- now something else.
Back to work…Uncle Solly or rather Mr.Karodia has got me working with his two main attorneys on a divorce case. All I have to do is sit in and listen and make notes. But I made up my mind to do something with my life and as much as this job is so boring I’ve got to stick it out. Aara would give me that deadly look now if she heard me say that out loud. Its almost four days since I last saw her…this whole space thing is not good, but I hope its working for her. If I wasn’t working I would have definitely gone down to Durban. I miss maa and papa a lot, so I decide…since I’m the only one in the office right now, except for the receptionist Barbara, I decided to give maa a call.

After a few rings…she picks up..

Maa: salaams my darling
Me: maaaa…its so good to hear your voice! How are you?
Maa: I’m okay Naeem how are you?
Me: missing you maa I’m not okay..I need to see you
Maa: Aara told me you started working again..that’s good so now I can’t fight with you for not coming
Me: and work sucks maa..I’m sitting in on this divorce case at the moment and that lady is pure evil its so hard to keep a straight face!

Maa: (laughing) aww Naeem I miss you and your stories so much! If you can’t make it anytime soon, I’m coming up to see you
Me: I would love that Maa…I miss your food and I miss gardening with you…jhb is nice but its just not home..
Maa: is everything okay son? You seem to have something on your chest
Me: I’ll tell you when I meet you ..till then I have ALOT to prove

Maa: alright if you say so..now tell me what can I send back for you?
Me: whatever you’re making for lunch today, lunch and supper tomorrow and whatever you have leftover from yesterday
Maa: (laughing) you will never change! I’ll send you all of that and a little bit more but don’t tell Aara
Me: its cool Maa she knows you love me more than her…when is she coming back anyway?

Maa: she’s not sure..saturday maybe sunday..papa says she must rather go back with Zoheb you know how paranoid he is about Aara travelling alone even though its from Dbn to Jhb
Me: wait Zoheb?

Maa: yeah yourls friend Zoheb..he was here on business and Sahal and Aara bumped into him on the beach and can you believe these two they didn’t even have the decency to invite him home and they were telling me about it so casually! Shame then I made Aara phone and call him. Nice boy

Me: well we only know him recently he’s Riza’s friend
Maa: and I heard you baking with him on sunday?
Me: maa Aara has filled you in on everything! ℓ☺ℓ
Maa: you know once Aara starts she never stops (ℓ☺ℓ ) but its so good to have her home after so long
Me: and I’m sitting here and missing her!

It was so good speaking to Maa she always made me feel better. Calling Aara’s parents Maa and Papa , never felt odd or weird. They had never treated me any differently from Aara and loved me more than my own parents. I was a bit annoyed that Zoheb was in durban AND spending time with Aara but if I showed it, it would push her away. Maariah, (even though I had been so rude to her) was kind enough to point out a few things to me that made me realise that what I was doing on impulse, looked to everyone else as sheer jealousy and nastiness. She had come to see me a few days ago and we ended up having a good heart to heart. Talking to someone about the way I feel made the load on my chest a bit lighter….

A few hours later…

Me: Aunty Sawleha your biryani is always rocking!
Aunty Sawleha: then why are you coming after so long? I’m seeing you after months Naeem
Arshad: told you Nemo
Aunty Sawleha: stop this Nemo Nemo what is Nemo..he has such a lovely name why do you call him Nemo???

Me: (ℓ☺ℓ ) you can blame that on Aara not Arshad…Nemo was her big idea
Aunty Sawleha: well it must stop…imagine when you have neices and nephews and they call you Uncle Nemo or Nemo Mamoo how silly that would sound!

Arshad and I were bust! *ripped*

Me: I’ll work on that for sure (lmao)

Arshad nudged me under the table to start talking to her about “you know what”. I was going to enjoy this…*wink at Arshad :-p *

Me: how’s Faseeha?

Aunty Sawleha: you knew Faseeha?
Me: well I knew there was a girl by that name who was interested in Arshad but…

Aunty Sawleha: (giving Arshad a heavy look) Naeem I don’t know what to tell you…what a lovely girl…and this ghadero here. There was nothing wrong with her and she used to make so much of effort to get to know Arshad

Arshad: mum she was irritating..fullstop

That did it for Arshad’s mum because she started scolding him on the table. It was just us and her , his father was out of town. Then she dropped the bombshell I already knew was coming.

Aunty Sawleha: Arshad is gay!!!

I burst out laughing.

Arshad: I’m not gay!!

Me: that’s actually the trend nowdays Aunty Sawleha…its actually so much better if you think about it. If you get a son in law instead of a daughter in law think about how easy your life will be. Lemme give it to you in point form.

1. Men don’t wear gold. That on its own is a HUGE saving because daughter in law would mean you’d have to buy gold bangles and heavy gold sets otherwise you’ll be known as a bad mother in law.

2. Kunchas will be so easy because all you got to buy is pants,shirts,ties,shoes,tracksuits, whereas for a girl you’d have to buy dresses, skirts,tops,pants,panjabis,pyjamas,gowns,sandals,shoes,make up not forgetting all different accessories to match every outfit-and if the kunchas don’t stand out then you’ll be known as a bad mother in law.

3. Men rarely argue. You will probably never have a fight with your son in law about your son because men they just don’t argue in a hurry. You don’t have to have any expectation and he won’t have any expectation, you just carry on doing everything you were doing before Arshad gets married and when he does get married, just think you’ve got another son. If its a girl….whew and you only tell her something and if she argues with you then you’ll be known as a bad mother in law.

4. No competition. You never have to compete with your son in law at any family function so you never have to worry about who’s looking better! If its a girl and since you are so good looking Aunty Sawleha and you dress so well, imagine if you unknowingly outdo your daughter in law- then the gossip will start-and you will be known as a bad mother in law.

5. You will save so much of money if you properly consider all of the above. If its a girl, you will probably end up owing people money-because if everything isn’t over the top- you’ll be known as a bad mother in law.

Aunty Sawleha was at a loss for words.

Arshad covered his face with his hands.

Aunty Sawleha: and what about grand children?

I couldn’t help but laugh!

Me: you can adopt as many as you want!

Aunty Sawleha: (softly) I know what you’re saying and I really don’t mind everything that comes with having a daughter in law…I just want my son to get married and have a normal life…I think this is one dream that will remain a dream…

Arshad and I exchanged glances and when I looked at Aunty Sawleha my heart melted. It was weird that I had more time for my friends mothers than my own mother. I got off my chair and knelt down by Aunty Sawleha. She started crying.

Aunty Sawleha: I saw those pictures of Arshad in those weird clothes…I never thought a day like this would come. Faseeha also told me that when she went out with Arshad, his boyfriend met them there…what is this child of mine doing to me?

I smiled and sighed.

Me: let me explain.

And I went onto explain everything about our “date” with Faseeha, Riza’s plans and that’s how Arshad and Laeeka ended up at Lady my Lady. And I assured her that Arshad wasn’t gay, he just didn’t like Faseeha,neither of us did and she wasn’t a match for him at all. And the so called boyfriend that day was nobody else but me!

Me: that Faseeha would have really been a sample daughter in law!!!

Aunty Sawleha: (wiping her tears and laughing) she was starting to irritate me too…

Arshad: mum!!

I burst out laughing!

Me: don’t worry Aunty Sawleha I’ll find Arshad a very nice wife who will be a very nice daughter in law to you…

Aunty Sawleha: (kissing my forehead) you are a one in a million Naeem

Arshad: yeah NEMO MAMOO !!

Please hey…no little bugger is ever going to call me Nemo Mamoo hell no…they can just call me Nemo…no Mamoo stories here haauh !