Tonight would formally mark the beginning of the rest of my life. The Ahmed’s were coming to make it “official”. They had also asked that we keep it small, meaning just my immediate family and Riza’s immediate family, because they wanted to get to know us and wanted us to get to know them.
My mother could barely control her excitement! She loved Riza to bits and I’m sure by now she had already named our children in her head.
I have to admit though, I was very tense. Riza’s mothers attitude towards me ever since he proposed has been awfully cold and the fact that I knew she had so many things to say about me made it worse.
We had decided to make haleem and savouries for supper because Riza’s mum clearly specified that they have a light supper on a friday because lunch was always heavy. Well I guess its the same for almost all our muslim households.
To say it was awkward was the understatement of the century! Riza’s mum was dressed to the nines! She was always very fashionable but tonight she took it to a whole new level! And she wore so much of jewellery you would have thought she’s the bride not me! And the way in which she looked at the things on the table, you would think we prepared something fit for the dirtbin!
Riza’s Mum(RM) : so Sabera(my mum) when would you prefer the wedding?
My mum(MM): nikah shouldn’t be delayed so as soon as possible I would think?
RM: (sarcastic laugh) these two have been together for so long without nikah I thought they’d eventually get tired of each other
My mum was hurt and I could see it on her face..
MM: we can only try to correct our children and guide them, the rest is upto them they’re adults
Riza: I’d like us to get married as soon as possible….
Riza’s Dad(RD): (finally opening his mouth) that’s like my son! I’m so eager to get you two married..you know Anwar (my dad) I always used to tell Riza please ask Laeeka and he was always either too shy or too scared..(And he laughed) now we have to make this thing happen fast. We are overjoyed to have another daughter coming to our home:)
A wave of relief swept across my parents face. I had only ever met Riza’s dad just once before and Riza also told me that his dad was way too quiet and his mum made the most of it! And now to have him speak up for me really meant a lot to me.
RM: hmm (and she had this smug side smile on her face) well I guess its their decision to make. Riza didn’t exactly ask us on our opinion
O gosh woman!! Get over it already!!
RM: so there’s one thing I’d like to make clear, after marriage I want you to live with me. I have just one son and I can’t lose him. Riza, you didn’t let us have a say on who you wanted to get married to so now you can’t take this away from me
RM: no buts my darling I’m also doing this for your benefit
RD: Maseeha don’t be ridiculous! These days the kids don’t stay with their parents when they get married and besides its better if they stay on their own, then there’s no pressure of having a family around and they can grow their relationship its so important especially the first few years
RM: oh please…they are together for what 5-6 years its not like they are in an arranged marriage that they need to “grow” their relationship!
Errmmm is this turning into a verbal spat??
My Dad (MD): I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that at all. But its good that the kids know how you both feel and they can make a decision
RM: Riza will whither away! He loves my cooking and the way I look after him. Atleast if they are with me Laeeka won’t have to worry about all of that
RD: but she needs to doesn’t she?
My mother shook her head at me slightly and I know she was trying to tell me not to open my mouth..but Riza’s mum was now getting on my nerves!
RM: if they stay on their own then Laeeka will have to close down that little clothes shop of hers because then she won’t have the time to balance home and work!
Riza had warned me that his mum may do something like this but hearing about it and seeing it “live” was an entirely different story! I also understood that he couldn’t shoot down her opinion infront of everyone he’d have to do it at home. I wished Riza’s sister was here, she had this subtle way of calming her mother down with tons of praise!
Riza: there’s still time for that and we’ll discuss it again, isn’t there things like dates that we need to talk about?
MD: (laughing) very eager Riza…okay how about next weekend we have a small engagement?
RM: small? We have so much of family to invite!
MM: you can give us a number and we will work around it
I looked at Riza…next week was Cape Town! We already made bookings and everything was paid for! My father must have forgotten…
Riza: ummm next weekend is out, although a long weekend would have been good but we’re off to cape town next week…our group remember?
RM: postpone it, the engagement is more important!
Riza: I can’t ma..everything is booked everyone has already paid for their packages
MM: its ok Riza it will give us time to plan properly don’t worry
Riza’s mum shot my mum an angry look
RM: will a hundred people from ourside be too much?
I knew it! She was already planning the guest list in her head!
RD: 100 from where???
RM: they just add up
MM: (she was upset I could see it) 100 is fine and when you put it down on paper and if you feel you need to add more you must just phone me and let me know
Its not like my parents couldn’t afford it but they never wanted a huge wedding for me. Stylish and smart but small. There was no need to call the whole dunya!
RM: okay then let us go we have just two weeks before we meet again and so much to do..by the way how do we do this? Do we go half and half with the engagement expense?
She was as blunt as a butter knife!
MD: that won’t be necessary, we’ve got it covered
Before they left, Riza came up to my mother and hugged her “I’m so sorry” he whispered to her. And my mothers irritation seemed to have vanished!
I knew now that this woman was never going to leave me alone. For her, I’d always never be good enough for her son!
“Dua can change everything”,my mother said softly as she engulfed me into one of her warm and welcoming hugs…
Zoheb: out of sight out of mind hey 😦
After a while…
Aara: welllll I could say the same for you…
Zoheb: but seeee I still messaged you, you don’t even think about me 😦
Aara: aah that’s not true
Zoheb: so you are thinking about me!! *wink*
Aara: yeah yeah keep telling yourself that
Zoheb: ℓ☺ℓ you just said “that’s not true”
Zoheb: would you like to go out for supper tonight please?
Aara: that would have been nice but I’m actually in Durban
Zoheb: aww man…ok when you get back then?
Aara: ofcourse 🙂
Zoheb: so what are you doing in Durban again?
Aara: I’m here with Nemo, its his sisters engagement tomorrow night
Zoheb: oh that’s nice I’m glad he agreed to go
Aara: yeah I just hope it all goes well
Zoheb: I’m sure it will 🙂 after all…you’re there:)
Aara: well, I don’t exactly gel too well with his family if you know what I mean
Zoheb: how so?
Aara: between you and me, his family is the high and mighty type and I’m just dreading tomorrow night..I wouldn’t have come if it weren’t for Nemo because he also feels very out of place with them
Zoheb: don’t worry, it will be over before you know it and you will be back where you belong:)
Aara: I can’t wait!
Zoheb: ooooh so excited to see me are you *happy dance*
Aara: ermmm you said “back where I belong” which is where I live…
Zoheb: back where you belong can mean something else too you know…
Aara: (I’m so glad this was a bb chat not a face to face chat!) Hmmmm like what?
Zoheb: seriously now?
Zoheb: all in good time that’s all I can say *wink wink*
Zoheb: its not appropriate for an online chat..you never know who can be tapping in *grin*
Aara: oh please do you really believe that actually happens?
Zoheb: well, I wouldn’t want to share my ideas or anything else with anyone else so I would rather be safe than sorry
Aara: you are a piece of work!
Zoheb: *smiling the dimples smile*
Aara: ℓ☺ℓ lucky you aren’t infront of me right now!
Zoheb: you right…because I can see what happens to you when you see the dimples *tsk tsk*
Zoheb: okay enough now, I’m waiting outside your door will you open it for me please?
Aara: no you’re not (but I was so curious..could he be here??)
Zoheb: please open the door..I jumped the fence to get in and if I have to start shouting then everyone in your house will wake up!
Aara: ok ok (going downstairs, quickly checking my face in the passage mirror and rushing to open the front door)
Zoheb: come on make it fast stop looking at yourself in the mirror you always look lovely:)
Aara: ook I’m outside and where are you?
Zoheb: you will have to find me*wink*
Aara: I am so not going to walk in the garden now..please come out wherever you are
Zoheb: okay do this…look up and tell me what you see
Aara: (smiling) ummm the moon
Zoheb: okay close your eyes…I’ll come to you
Aara: (and so I did…and suddenly I could see him…smiling at me…but wait my eyes were still closed when suddenly my phone rang)
Zoheb: see…I’m hundreds of kilometres away from you but you can still see me infront of you…
Aara: (I was at a loss for words I really didn’t know what to say)
Aara: hmmm? (Gosh the butterflies again…bbm chat is way less embarassing than having been caught red handed like this!)
Zoheb: you can go back upstairs now…but don’t cut the call
Aara: ( I didn’t want to cut the call at all!) Ok…(And I made my way upstairs)
Zoheb: now, I did say that I wanted to get to know you better and since you’re in a different province the phone will have to do…:)
And we spoke for I think it was…almost four hours because I eventually fell asleep while talking to him….