As narrated by Nemo:
“Alright everyone this is it! We are finally on our way and I would just like to thank all of you for being a part of this-Uncle Irshaad and Aunty Sawleha a special thanks to you both for joining us. Guys and girls please remember what I told you-let it go- just enjoy the trip don’t think too much we are here to enjoy ourselves. Time waits for no one and these moments will never come again so…yeah just enjoy be free have fun and let’s make some good memories!”, Riza said with a 500 watt smile across his face.
Everyone cheered and Zia hooted! Lol! This really felt so awesome! 8 fabulous days ahead woohoo! The RV was abuzz with our noise! Yes, noise! From the outside we probably sounded like a bunch of farm people who were going to the beach for the first time! It’s good that this bus..oops sorry, RV had tinted windows *wink* It was actually pretty cool inside…there was 3×2 seater extremely comfortable high seats at the front and 2×3 seater like sofa style seats at the back..it looked more like a lounge! A big flat screen hanging from the ceiling of the RV, oh and the seats were all styling with their own cupholders, laptop holders and stands AND they reclined! There was also a toilet and a kichenette oh and a cute shower cubicle but I have no idea where the water came from hmmm..
Minutes later, containers of food were being passed around. Aunty Sawleha was in the house!
Me: Aunty Sawleha these are devine!
Aunty Sawleha: well you can enjoy them while I’m here..but find yourself a wife who can make all these lovely things
Me: these days girls naauh they can’t come anywhere near all you old school girls (and I winked at Aunty Sawleha)
Aunty Sawleha:(laughing) Naeem your mouth!
Me: its the truth! Isn’t it Uncle Irshaad?
Uncle Irshaad: Sawls this young man is correct in what he’s saying…I don’t know about other “old school girls” but you definitely are my one in a million!
Aunty Sawleha blushed profusely! It was such an awwww moment:)))
Me: Uncle Irshaad I didn’t know you had this streak in you! Some of it needs to rub onto Arshoo here
Aunty Sawleha: you are supposed to find him a girl…what are you doing about it?
Me: you will know soon enough (winking at Arshad)
Laeeka: ooo you gave the job to the wrong person Aunty Sawleha! This one will find you a very modern daughter in law
Aunty Sawleha: and what about you Naeem? You must also settle down soon
Me: you will know when I know*wink* but right now I can smell…I can smell dhaiwaras! If you’re hiding it Aunty Sawleha you better take it out now
Aunty Sawleha: bachoo if I had made them I would have given them to you I know you love them
Maariah: something is wrong with you! I can’t smell anything
Arshad: yeah neither can i
I sniffed around the bus like a dog! Lol! When it came to dhaiwaras I was prepared to become anything!
Near the 3 seater right at the back,the aroma was the strongest!
And on the 3 seater… 🙂 …Aara lay fast asleep. I took off my jacket and covered her with it. That pig Zia messed up hers remember?
And then I opened a blue bag that had..wait…my name written on it on one side.
Dhaiwaras!!! I was in Heaven! Another container with chocolate burfee, one with chocolate eclairs and one with mini donuts with caramel topping. All of my favourite things!
I just stood there and stared at her for a few seconds..It’s so hard to understand what’s going on in your mind Aara….It’s so true, sometimes the greatest journey in life is the distance between two hearts…
And I walked off and sat next to Arshad.
Me: so, when are you telling your
Arshad: Zai wants them to get to know her better on this trip before we tell them anything..
Me: oh you mean she wants to create an impression *wink*
Arshad: you know how it goes
Me: no..I don’t actually
Arshad: (looking at me as though it was the first time he saw me) she wants them to like her!
Me: is that why she’s looking like a Christmas tree today?
And we could hear Zoheb and Riza chuckle behind us.
Me: you two come this side
And it was us guys in a group sharing these devine dhaiwaras.
Riza: mmm this is..this is…(Stuffing another one in his mouth)
Zoheb: this is beyond delicious! It’s been years since I’ve eaten this thing
Arshad’s dad was busy reading the newspaper, Laeeka,Maariah and Zai were talking to Aunty Sawleha.
Riza: so what’s the plan?
Arshad: I told Nemo, Zai wants to get to know my parents and she wants them to get to know her
Zoheb: Arshad its been what only 3 days since you both are together…and you’re already on the lines of marriage? I mean I know nikah shouldn’t be delayed etc etc but isn’t it like…a bit too quick?
Me: he scored a top one Zoheb..that’s why he’s making sharp sharp! (And I burst out laughing)..you do know that with marriage comes mother in laws right?
Arshad: err ya..obviously
Zoheb: and sunday lunches with the wifes extended families, Jummah lunches with the wifes extended families, Saturday night braais with the wifes extended families…
Me: once the clock strikes 7 every night…her entire family will take turns to call her and talk for the full hour about everything! From your dishcloths to whether you put your clothes in the washing basket to whether you snore at night etc etc etc
Zoheb: and all of them will want discounts for their kids at your practise…leaving you either breaking even or even worse…broke!
Me: that’s the main thing…kids! Within 9-10 months you will have your first child…honeymoon down the drain, your “first year into marriage” will initially see you running to the shops at midnight to fulfil one of Zai’s weird cravings then before you know it, it will be crying and shitty nappies and feeding and burping and vomitting…and then after another year it will be back to square one with a second child!
Zoheb: and then its everything that comes with the children…medical aid, hundreds of different outfits because Zai thinks they are “cute” ,creche, school,university, and then their marriage!
Me: then their kids after that! You’re buggered bro!
Arshad’s face was totally worth watching! And so was Riza’s! They were both silent and Zoheb and I were bust!
“They are speaking the truth”..Zia chipped in…”You must be thinking fayyandred (five hundred) times before you jump bhai”
Me: (whispering) his wife probably never needs to wear lipstick for sure!
It took a few seconds for it to sink in..but then Zoheb,Arshad and Riza erupted like a volcano of laughter!
Riza: you know marriages aren’t really as exaggerated as you both are making it out to be
Me: you actually shouldn’t say anything…your mother is like one of the mother in laws from one of the Zee soaps!
Zoheb: you watch indian soapies? (Raising his eyebrow)
Me: yep..courtesy of Aara
Arshad: hey I also like watching them
Zoheb: (laughing) why am I not surprised!
Zia: I also vatch (watch) it. I vatch (watch) all the soapies…
Zoheb: you should probably be watching the road instead Zia…
Zia: don’t worry Bhai never fear when Zia is here!
And that was the biggest of our worries by far!
We chatted together for the next three hours…it feels great to have some male bonding sometimes…all these females just complicate things! We had a mighty long drive ahead..our route was from Jhb, stop at Bloemfontein and cut straight through to the Eastern Cape and we were going to be spending the night in East London. We were then going to be spending a night in Knysna and were due to arrive in Cape Town on friday.
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