Part 121-In my Head

As narrated by Nemo:

A rainy day for a change…and rainy days always brought back memories of our treehouse. I sat at the window and stared outside for how long,I don’t even know. It was Arshad’s turn to “babysit” me and Aara said she would be late. Eight months into rehabilitation and going strong.
Arshad was fast asleep on the couch and I knew he had hidden the house keys somewhere-not that I planned on running away again. These guys were just awesome…giving me their time and support meant a lot to me.

I found myself infront of Aara’s bookshelf. Yes, I would force myself to read after years:-p

After browsing through so many books, I stopped on one…and as I opened it to start reading, a page fell out.

“What is this?” I asked in my mind…

“Blue Rain…”

I was instantly drawn to the words of this poem written in Aara’s handwriting…a poem she hadn’t completed.

So I made myself comfortable back by the window and held the pen in my hand and closed my eyes….

Within seconds…memories of Aara filled my mind…Aara laughing,crying, singing,jumping on my bed,stealing my lunch, scaring me, kissing my forehead, boxing me…and all at once the questions that were in my mind for the past few weeks seemed to be answered…whenever I looked at her recently I felt self conscious..I would button up my shirt and make sure my laces were tied..I would look at myself in the mirror first before I came infront of her, I would hang onto every word that she said…and I never did this before..
I could feel my cheeks turn pink whenever she came infront of me..what was going on???

I opened my eyes and smiled involuntarily…yet she wasn’t there she was still infront of me, looking at me…

And I started writing were she had left off…my heart beating violently at the realization that had just dawned upon me….I was in love!! I was in love!!

And I wasn’t about to give it up….

I’m not blind. I can see what’s happening. Aara has a bounce in her step and a glow on her face…I’ve known her since childhood how could I not notice?

Am I pretending not to see? Yes and No

Zoheb likes her, that much I do know. And maybe Aara likes him too…but love…no, it can’t be love at all.

Everytime I wanted to tell her…I held back because of the many times I had hurt her…and recently so much just kept coming up. Aadil was also in the picture and that too because of me.

Different scenarios play out in my head all the time…

Me: I love you…

Aara: I know how, I love you too!

Me: no I mean…I love you love you…I’m in love with you Aara

And she goes away from me…in shock and anger and I lose not only my love but my best friend too…

Me: I’m in love with you Aara…

Aara: (tears in her eyes and hugging me) I love you Nemo…I’ve loved you forever

And she stays with me…for the rest of my life

Either one of the two can happen…I had a lot to gain and a lot to lose too.

I saw how comfortable she was with Zoheb, the way she ate from his food, the way she spoke to him with so much ease…the way she looked at herself in the mirror before he entered a room, the way she gave him more attention than anyone else. It hurt. A lot.

It probably hurt her too when I used to hang out with different girls…back then when I didn’t know that she was in love with me and now when she doesn’t know that I am in love with her…

It was so ironic…I fell in love with her when she had given up on having a future with me…in that way.

If I could turn back the hands of time I would do so in the blink of an eye. If I could take back all the times I had hurt her, I would. And if I look back at my life the only consistency was Aara..

She lit up my whole life with her contagious smile…

I am alive today because of her, I am healthy today because of her…my every breath belongs to her

Aara and I belonged together and I was going to tell her in Durban where I had everything planned out…a perfect surprise, one that she’s always talked about.

Even if she does like Zoheb, they aren’t married I still have hope and a lifetime of memories behind me…


15 thoughts on “Part 121-In my Head

  1. Plz Neemo. Ure cute but Zoheib is gorgeous, and he makes Ara happy, a million times over, thy meant to b…
    Don’t sadden Aara with ur surprise, maybe she’ll shock u first with her new found L♥√ع. Zoheib&Aara


  2. Yes! Hope nemo that’s all everyone ever lives on and it’s a good thing! It’s the hope that keeping people to strive for better! Me too I’m hoping that Aara doesn’t reject u. But if she loved u once and if that was true love then she will love you again! ( I hope) wink…………….. I’m just so scared will nemo and Aara friendship survive if she’s with zoheb! I know she is all butterflied up with him now cos all this is so new to her! The initial romance in life makes u feel on top of the world but u have to eventually come down to earth and then when she’s no nemo whom she always fought for to have by her side no matter what is no more there will she be able to forget him! ????????????


  3. Aww nemo my heart goes out to you. But please don’t hurt aara you hurt her before. She has found something with zoheb. Let aara see where its going to go eith her and zoheb 💕 Don’t give her a choice between you and youf friendship.
    Be happy with whatever she decides😚


  4. Awww nemo. Why can’t Aara and Nemo be together. I really like Nemo. And I think Nemo and Aara will make a perfect match #teamNemo&Aara


  5. I say gud luck 2 u Nemo although I have a feeling u gna be rejected. U hav Aara so mch how will u ever be able 2 make it up 2 her?I am definately a die hard Zoheb fan bt I feel that u shud get a chance 2.Aara is a smart girl she will chose what’s best 4 her and that will be ZOHEB. Tnx Shaazia awesome post can’t wait for Tђε next 1.


  6. I hope everything goes well and nothing can disrupts his surprise for his Aara.
    This post had me in tears 😰
    #team Nemo and Aara



  7. nemo is outstanding I think he knows dat he can never make it up to aara n if she tels him she loves zoheb I don’t think he will tos their friendship but I think he will love her enough to let her b happy…unlike selfish zoheb who knew dat Der was a spark n still killed it….good luck nemo…:))


  8. LLD duznt love me anymore 😦 I didn’t get this post =D 😦
    I’m sobbing for my Nemo0o 😥 😥 😥
    He’s just the cutest and sweetest 🙂
    Oh how how will we manage if the latter happens which so looks like its gonna happen 😦 x_X thee heart break….is already starting 😦
    I can’t do this 😦 …. my nemo 😥 😥 😥
    He even planned a surprise for her *love struck*
    I’m crying and my mum is like “she’s reading blogs” ay she knows me too well.
    Aaraaaaa how can you not still love NEMO 😥 I jus cnt deal with this 😥


  9. How did i miss this post😔
    Nemo deserves a fair chance as well-will b very interesting 2c how he approaches Aara
    Even more interesting 2hear wat Aara’s heart feels
    I like Nemo, but dunno y i still dnt feel dat he sud get aara- even Zoheb is fine wid their friendship😀
    Tx 4telling us wats happening in Nemo’s head🌹


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