Part 155- Selvan’s Wedding (Part 2)

As narrated by Arshad:

Whenever the lot of us are together, there’s never a shortage of laughter and right now too, we were cracking it!

The expressions on our “tablemates” faces were priceless!

Aara had me in stitches with her answer to Bouncer and after Ziyaad’s “confession” my sides were actually sore.

Only one problem though, I wish I had worn one of those gas masks tonight because Deva, who was sitting on my right hand side was a “wet talker”. You know you get some people (like my darling Zainab) who when they speak it’s as though the sun is shining….and then you get Deva here, when he talks it’s as though it’s raining! I mean like really uncle, say it don’t spray it!

Deva: (spraying it all over me) you are Selvan’s step brother!!!

Me: (wiping my face and pushing my chair back a notch) errr Uncle…

Deva: (ignoring me) but how??? You look like…like…what’s that comparison?

Riza: (with a wide grin) chalk and cheese?

Deva: no man we aren’t vit ous boss…you both look like…like mash and gravy!

That did it! I was beyond torn. I burst out laughing and I laughed so hard that my face turned pink. But I wasn’t the only one…everyone else was ripped too!


Ziyaad: (highly amused) well I’m assuming I’m the mash not the gravy boss!

Deva: ofcourse ofcourse…hey when are these people going to start man? Indian timing I tell you! When an Indian says five minutes never ever trust him because that five minutes really means one hour!

He was right though. On the invite it clearly said 6pm sharp and it was already almost 7!

Zainab: (munching on the snacks) I don’t mind…these are good!

Aishwarya: did you bring your container?

Zainab: (looking puzzled) container for?

Bouncer: you people are playing man…show them our stash Aish!

And Aishwarya stealthily produced a packet full of two litre ice cream containers from under the table!

Zainab: (her hand in mid air, halfway to her mouth) are those…? No ways!

Bouncer: but we’ll only take it if the food is nice otherwise we’ll leave it and if it’s nice we’ll even give you all one

Zainab: huh? Noooo we don’t want it

Bouncer: why?must take and go, tomorrow you won’t have to cook girly!

Girly??? #bust!

Aishwarya: (scooping the entire plate of sweetmeats off the table) are you all having more?

Laeeka: (looking at Riza) no…errr you can pack it away

Man were these people for real???

Nemo: stop wondering Arshoo…you know your dadi does that :-p

How can I forget? My paternal grandmother always has her ice cream containers in her car boot at every function and sometimes she even gets those containers filled before the function starts! I cringed at the thought of that and even though I loved my dadi immensely, that was the one habit of hers that irked me to death!
keep calm container

Ziyaad: so where are you guys from?

Brownie: we from Phoenix larnie…you want anything we can organize it for you

Ziyaad: really, like what?

Brownie: latest dvd’s boss I’m your man!

Zoheb: (raising his eyebrow) you mean pirated dvd’s?

Brownie: ey bru don’t say it like that we got top copies I’m tuning you

Zoheb: top copies of pirated dvd’s?

Brownie: (looking at all of us) this ou is deaf or what?

I was seriously going to wet myself!!

Riza: (making eyes at Zoheb) nah he’s just messing with you…don’t take out your bushknife now (winking at Brownie)

Brownie: (laughing) how you know I carry my bush knife wherever I go?

What??? Everyone went dead silent..

Riza: errr you’re joking right?

Laeeka: (nudging Riza) he doesn’t look like he’s joking babe..

Brownie: (producing a large bushknife from under the table) in my district they call me Bushknife Brownie!!
bushknife brownie

Every single one of us jumped off our chairs…including our cop Immy who until now was totally uninterested in our conversation as he was happily whispering little somethings to Maariah!

Zainab: (shocked) how many things are under this table!!!

Nemo: woooah Boss put that thing away please

Brownie: (hiding the bush knife back under the table) how sit down why are you all standing?

Aara: (winking at me) Bushknife Brownie hey…not bad…send me your list of dvds I’ll come and buy some before I go to Jhb

Zoheb: (still shocked from the appearance of the bushknife) Aara!

Ziyaad: (laughing at Aara) yeah me too

Brownie: (pulling out a bag from under the table) it’s right here!

Gosh what else was under the table????

Zoheb’s face had shock written all over it…okay he wasn’t used to all of this so it was really classic. All of us ended up buying dvd’s from Brownie:-p

We were still quite nervous but settled down again. I was so curious to look under the table and so I slowly lifted my side of the tablecloth and peeked under.

What the hell????

I was so shocked and my eyes felt as though they would pop out of their sockets!!!

Holy moley! I almost fell off my chair!!!


11 thoughts on “Part 155- Selvan’s Wedding (Part 2)

  1. #this post has me ripped:-D u have to give us the next post now please……really enjoying this blog.keep it up shaz….ur doing good 🙂


  2. Omg these people have a couple of screws loose. Like Seriously they brought all their stash with them lol. They’re beyond crazy. Can’t wait for the next post, I hope its soon. Keep up the great work I absolutely love it. Much appreciated.


  3. eish lmaoooo #RippedForDays ..ey must say…they beat us memons in this game😭😂😂😂😂😂 uuuh what could be under the table? 😏


  4. *ripped*bushknife brownie!!!how do u suscribe…this is jx the best blog eva!!!hope aara n zoheb end up 2geda n nemo gets maahera ONLY if she changes or nemo gets sum1 else…


  5. #Bust. #Ripped. #Torn with laughter.
    These pepl r crazy. I wonder wat Arshad saw under the table. This story jus gets better! 😀 Keep up the good work sister. ❤


  6. Ohhh emmm jeeeeeee

    Are these people lunatics?

    Hmm wonder what’s under the table…

    I’m soooo happy you gave us a post. Pleeeeeeaaaaaaasssssssssssseeeeeeeee post sooooooooooooooooooooooooon


  7. holy moly!!! reading lld post again and seeing I forgot to comment 😦 …. Klap me now :p … okay back to the post #Ripped   omw I was broken in this post   seriously Zee and the guy looks like mash ans gravy =)) and how much things do they have under the table #Dead    Ooh my favourite line from this post is “Say it don’t spray it” #RippedAndBeyond    gonna use this line on some sprayers :p Yoh brownie even has a bushknife with him larnie   ekse don’t mess with the ou :p


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