As narrated by Aara :
“Sweetheart, please listen to me it’s not Zoheb’s fault, this is my doing “,Nemo said as he tried to hold my hand
I was so livid that much to his shock, I pushed him away!
“Stay away from me Naeem!!”,I said angrily “your fault. .isn’t everything always your fault??? Even today, I am busy cleaning up your crap and even today I get the short end of the stick!!”
Nemo was dumbfounded but still tried to reason with me
“Everything was real”, he said, as though he was reading my mind “but my way was wrong. ..I know that you heard everything but you aren’t understanding any of it. I messed up, I always do and we were going to come clean with you tonight…Zoheb can’t live without you the way you can’t live without him and I get it”
“Oh you get it? Things have to always be done your way first before you get it!The boy who I grew up with was different …this man in front of me is just plain selfish! Here I was thinking that at least my best friend understands me and was just trying to make me happy, but you were just testing the waters weren’t you? In a moment of weakness, if I fell you would have used it to your advantage! !”, I screamed at the top of my voice as my body shook
“I would never have done that”, he whispered
“I feel like I don’t know you. ..who are you? Since when do you play with people’s emotions like this? We had our whole lives Nemo , we were always together!! “,I said as I broke down into uncontrollable sobs
“I will never hurt you again Aara, I will step back but I meant every word that I said last night. ..I love you, I have always loved you “, he said as he cried too
” Do you even know what is love? And you say that you love me. .The day that you love someone unconditionally, unromantically, more than me. ..that’s when I will believe that you ever loved me..because love is selfless, and you don’t have a selfless bone in your body!”, I said as I cried harder
I didn’t want to say those words, because once it is said, it can never be taken back, but I was beyond any boundary of self restraint and everything was coming down like the worst storm ever.
Zoheb reached forward and held my shoulder but the second that he did that, I jerked his hand away. Did he think that because I was angry with Nemo, I would go running to him? Nemo and I grew up together, he was a part of my existence, that is why it hurt me the way that it did. Nemo wasn’t like Riza, Arshad, Immy or Zoheb, and a great part of me wanted him to just stop being so irresponsible and man up! I expected more of him, but today felt exactly like the day that we brought him back from Durban. How would he understand…how would anyone understand. .I felt myself slip momentarily thinking about Nemo but I gathered my wits again as that wave of realisation hit me.
After I had given up on a relationship with Nemo, I had built a fortress around my mind and heart…and this man slowly made me let my guard down. Accepting me for who I was, embracing my past and giving me hope of a beautiful future. I let him in…I allowed it. And what followed was a feeling that I had never felt before. My heart told me that he was the one, he had to be. I opened up to him, I trusted him, but as usual, betrayal seems to follow me around like a stray dog.
“Don’t touch me Zoheb, you have lost that right!, I snapped.
“Aara..I didn’t want that what if to hang over our heads for the rest of our lives. .”,he said softly
“So you thought that you would leave me hanging with a big question mark as to why you were so withdrawn and play this heroic act of sacrificing me and my feelings so that a spineless man could try his luck with me???”, I said as those words cut a hole in my heart
His eyes were full of tears as he spoke. ..
” I had faith in us…I just wanted Nemo to realize it because I know what he means to you ”
I shook my head in disbelief.
“Do you both even realize how ridiculous this sounds? What are we, teenagers? You could have just told me!”
Both of them were silent
“You know what upsets me more Zoheb, is the fact that you knowingly hurt me , you knowingly threw me into a hole , you knowingly left me and went away when you knew that that was my biggest fear, you made me think that something was wrong with me, you made me feel inferior, you…..” , and I broke down completely as I fell to the ground. Riza rushed towards me and held me as I cried my heart out
“Shhhhhh “, he whispered as he tried to calm me
“I trusted him Reez, I trusted him. ..I love him so much, how could he do this to me? “, I said through my sobs
“No man is worth your tears Aara”, he said as he tried to wipe my tears and hold back his own
“He asked me for a chance and I gave him my heart…He crushed it Reez…why does this only happen to me…I’m not meant to be happy Riza… “, I sobbed as I looked at the lines on my palms…
Nemo and Zoheb knelt down beside us and tried to speak but Riza wouldn’t let them
“Just shut up ! I have never seen her like this, not even when you were sick Nemo! And Zoheb you, I didn’t expect this from you, not you, just get out both of you and get lost! “, Riza said angrily
“No…”, I said as I wiped my tears ” let them stay…I want to go…”
I stood up and took a deep breath in. My eyes were puffy and I felt awful.
“I would appreciate it if both of you stayed away from me please…For good. Riza can I walk to the car alone please…I need a few minutes to get my head around things ”
Riza nodded, I looked at Nemo and then at Zoheb and I slowly walked away. With each step, my heart broke. My life didn’t revolve around my best friend and the man that I loved, but they were a huge part of my life and perhaps speaking my heart out was supposed to make me feel liberated, it didn’t. The agony, the disappointment, the anger was still there. I stepped out of the main door just before the staircase and looked up into the sky. Where exactly is my place? I was tired. ..tired of being hurt and tired of hoping for the happiness that I thought I deserved. Where does it end…does it ever?
As narrated by Arshad :
“Drive faster!”, Zainab said as She tapped me on my shoulder
I sometimes underestimate this woman. Thankfully, she had come with me to Aara’s apartment because when I saw that bunch of white roses and that awful note…I froze. If it wasn’t for Zainab, I would probably still be standing there.
It was Zainab who phoned Immy, it was Zainab who remembered to ask Maariah if Aara still had her bulletproof vest on and it was Zainab who consoled us when we realized that she had left that safety net neatly on Maariah’s sofa.
Immy had managed to track Riza ‘s mobile phone and arrange for a Swat team to meet us there. We couldn’t get a hold of Riza or Aara and I hoped that both of them were safe and sound.
The shock and the reality of it all hit me like a ton of bricks…and those words written on that note echoed over and over in my head…
“In loving memory of Aara Ismail”
As narrated by Aadil :
There you are. ..awwww sorry Aara, the truth hurts, I should know. It’s such a pity that you didn’t see through this. I guess that you’re too consumed by the pain of betrayal to even think rationally.
I didn’t flinch as I watched her wipe her tears and as she almost lost her balance when she tried to descend the staircase, nor did I flinch when she stopped after walking a few steps and leaned against the wall and cried further.
As i was about to pull the trigger, I thought of Amreen and our good times, her smile flashed before my eyes. ..I thought of how happy I once was. I put my gun down as I watched Aara crumble the way that I once did…
Watching her, reminded me of myself and the place that I was once in…I knew what it felt like. The circumstances may have been different, but the pain was the same. ..
The sound of an approaching helicopter triggered me back to reality. That anger returned, and I was reminded of the reason that I was here. I will not be played again, definitely not. I thought of the way that Amreen lashed out at me, the way that she rejected me and the way that she pushed me away today too..my heart was burnt, broken, buried.
I picked up my gun once again as I watched her begin to descend the stairs…
This one is for you Nemo. Take it where it hurts the most, she was always the target , always.
As narrated by Riza
Everything seemed to be happening too quickly. I was shocked by this revelation! I stood silently and let Aara pour her heart and frustrations out. She was terribly disappointed and hurt and rightfully so. What they had done was wrong .I didn’t know about forgiveness for now but she needed time and space and like everything, this too would pass. I hope.
Zoheb and Nemo were silent as she left and just moments after that, we heard the sound of a chopper close by.
And that’s when everything seemed to go in complete slow motion. ..
Before we could even speak or begin to comprehend what was going on. ..We were startled by two very loud bangs. Panic filled my body as the sound finally registered…that was the sound of gunshots! And the thud of something falling. …OH MY GOD, Aara !!!!!
The three of us rushed outside as the helicopter zoomed above us…Arshad’s car came to a screeching hault as we ran down the staircase….
Everything stopped for me. I couldn’t hear a thing. Nemo fell to his knees and Zoheb cradled her in his arms….
Everyone seemed to be shouting and screaming, my mind was blank…my heart racing…
I trembled as I knelt down beside her…lying at the bottom of the staircase, lying unconscious, in a pool of blood….
**This post is dedicated to Haaj. To all the good times, the memories, the laughter…Love u always:)**
———————————– END OF SEASON FOUR—————————–
There will Insha Allah be a bonus post within the next ten days. However, I am not certain about when I will return. My eyesight has improved dramatically and I feel a whole lot better, but I need a time out to channel my energy elsewhere and to enjoy a little bit of rest too:)
I will be in touch though…
Blog Roll will be up on Thursday Insha Allah, so if you haven’t sent your link through yet please do so by tomorrow evening latest.
I would like to extend my sincere thanks to my friends and family, the readers who I have gotten very close to, and all LLD fans. Your constant support and assistance during my most testing time will always be remembered. No amount of thank you’s will ever be enough…love you to the moon and back!
Keep well, keep smiling and keep it real:-p
Much Love and Duas,