As narrated by Aara
What are tears? They are not simply a chemical reaction of our bodies…They flow from the wells of our hearts and stream out of the windows of our souls when those wells reach their capacity. They are the tiny droplets of memories so vivid and real, they are the soldiers of the wars waged in our hearts. The soldiers who lost, the soldiers who won . They are pure and free, they are a part of me.
They are the blood of bleeding hearts and the pebbles that once lay on the paths to our destinations. They are pure and free…They are a part of me.
They mark the end of a journey, a loss or a gain, they mark the beginning of a new page, a happiness, a despair, they mark the arrival or a departure, a salvation, a ruin. They are pure and free. ..They are a part of me.
They are the tips of sharpened arrows sent forth from quivering bows, they are the dewdrops on the first flowers of spring …They are pure and free. .They are a part of me….
We travelled in silence to Immy and Maariah’s apartment, and apart from Zoheb looking at me every few seconds as I wiped my eyes, he said nothing. I appreciated that, and he knew that too.
Everyone greeted us warmly, but Nemo wasn’t there. Zoheb made himself comfortable in Maariah’s kitchen, doing what, I really didn’t know and despite the way that i felt, I really hoped that he wasn’t baking a cake! Arshad, Riza and Immy started the braai and everyone looked so happy after what seemed like ages…
“And off to the room we go “,Laeeka said as she suddenly grabbed my wheelchair and wheeled me into Maariah’s room with Zai and Mari following behind.
“Now you can tell us what’s wrong “,Zainab said as she closed the door behind her
I swallowed hard and looked at the three of them…and burst out crying.
“Heyyyy “, Mari said as she rubbed my back reassuringly
“I never forgot anything “, I said through my tears
All three of them sat around me in silence and listened as I poured my heart out..about what I felt, about my state of mind before the accident, about Zoheb and how his leaving affected me, about Nemo and his confession, about the dreams that tormented me every night, about the uncertainty that lay buried in my heart…
“But why would you do that? “,Zainab asked softly
“Because she wanted all of us to remember what we had forgotten…she wanted you Zainab , to fix things with Arshad, she wanted you Laeeka to give Riza his life back, she wanted Zoheb to see what could have happened if things went the other way around. ..”, Maariah said before I could answer
“Wait, you knew??”,Laeeka asked
“Riza, Arshad, Immy and I knew “, she said as she placed her hand on my shoulder
Silence. No one said a word.
“I wish that you guys wouldn’t come down hard on her…she made it through such an awful ordeal and the only reason that we agreed to her condition was because even though she he kept saying that she’s doing this for herself , we knew that she was doing it for us too!…and look at the results ”
I sobbed harder as I heard Maariah speak. It overwhelmed me to hear her say this and THIS was the Maariah who I had befriended.
“We aren’t angry with you Aara “,Laeeka cried as she put her arms around me , “we could never be angry with you…”
“And we did need the wake up too…well I did anyway “,Zainab said as she too hugged me
“I told Nemo today “, I said as I wiped away my tears
“And…?”, Zainab asked
But before I could reply, we heard a knock on the room door
“Who is it? “, Maariah asked
“It’s me ”
And the sound of his voice brought more tears to my eyes and I nodded at Maariah to open the door
“Are my drama queens crying without me?”, he asked as he closed the door behind him
“Shurrup Nemo “, Laeeka said as she wiped her nose
“Yes sure, the day that the earth stops spinning “,he chuckled
And he knelt in front of me and held both my hands
“After I left the hospital, I sat on my musallah and I cried my heart out..not because I was angry with you, because I’m not. .but because I couldn’t understand why you always put me first…All my life, you have always looked out for me, when nobody else cared, you did. You picked me up when I was kicked to the gutters, you shielded me ,you gave me a home, you fed me with your own bruised hands…bruises that were caused by me. You gave me your wings and made me fly…you believed in me when I didn’t even believe in myself. And what did I give you in return? Nothing but pain. I watched your heart break knowing that I was the reason, I tried to win you knowing that you already belonged to someone else. ..someone who deserves you. And because of me, you almost lost your life “…He said as tears fell from his eyes ” when I saw you in that condition, struggling to live, it killed me Aara, I didn’t want anything to happen to you, you are my heart, you are my love. ..and even if you could never be mine. .you would still BE…even if you didn’t talk to me ever again, I would be happy knowing that you are happy and I am very sorry for not recognizing your feelings, I was an idiot, I still am. ..but sweetheart one thing is certain, and that is that I would never have appreciated you the way that I do now so whatever had to happen, was bound to happen and you’re tied to the one who is right for you in every way , I want you to know that ”
Tears fell from all our eyes together, Laeeka covered her face and sobbed, Zainab and Mari tried to hold back but they couldn’t either…
In front of me , all I could see was my best friend, my six year old best friend holding my hands with nothing but sincerity in his eyes. In a second, I was transported back to the first day that we met, as my eyes scanned the large playground for two little kids who didn’t know then what an impact they were going to make on each others lives, who didn’t know that an innocent handshake would lead to a lifetime of change.
And Nemo enveloped me into a hug that broke and mended our hearts at the same time. I felt an inner peace and turmoil all at once, one that was incredibly overwhelming and incredibly painful.
He wiped my tears and smiled through his own tears…”You’ve done so much for me, for all of us. ..now it’s our turn to do the same for you”
I cried. ..so much while writing this. It’s true that we have gotten too used to these characters. …
On a lighter note, I have extended an open invitation on Twitter to all LLD readers to participate in The Wedding Planner competition. I’ve yet to figure out a gift but I will keep you posted on that. Basically, you’re actually going to be helping me by coming up with the colour schemes for the next two weddings, starting with Arshad & Zainab, please email me your preferred wedding theme and colour AND why you think that this colour is perfect for them. Once a winner is chosen, your character will get written into the story as the Wedding Planner, along with something for you too. (I know that I still owe two of you tshirts, and I promise that I will start looking soon as the last person who was designing them for me, didn’t work out ) so yeah, you can mail me your ideas firstname.lastname@example.org. The subject line must read “The Wedding Planner ”
And…The campaign that I mentioned in the last post. You can contact Sister Nadia personally to contribute, you don’t need to let me know how much etc. Let’s reach into our hearts and pockets and try and make a difference 💝
◻️◾️Please take just 2 mins to read◾️◻️
As most of you know, Syria is going through one of the worst civil wars of our times.
With more than 3 million people, having to flee for their lives from the country they once called home to any country who would take them in as refugees or asylum seekers.
Turkey is one such country who continues their open door policy to refugees who are numbering close to 2 million, with almost half of them being children.
But, the Turkish government is battling to deal with the humanitarian crisis at hand and many refugees are finding themselves living on the streets.
Like you and me, many of the refugees once had normal homes, lives and businesses/professions and now many find themselves either on the streets or living in squalid conditions.
My hubby and I will be making a trip to Turkey next month, InshaAllah/God Willing, and it is our hope to raise as much money as we can, which we will hand over to one of the many trustworthy NGOs that distribute food and necessities to the refugees of Istanbul. You may give zakaah as well.
Alternately, for those in the Durban area, I ask you to please dig into your cupboards and pull out clothes/abayas/kurtas/kiddies clothes that you are not using and I will make a plan to collect it from you.
Winter is coming up and many won’t have adequate clothes to keep them warm through the bitter cold. Undergarments like vests/long johns etc would be preferred over bulky garments.
Please ensure that the kiddies clothes especially are in very good condition.
Spare a thought for those who have lost everything they once knew.
To be forced to flee out of fear for their lives to a country where most don’t even understand the language spoken…
Please share widely so that we are able to assist as many refugees as possible, inshaAllah/God Willing.
For your information, see link for more info on the crisis:
acc no.: 9053945652
branch code: 632005
acc type: Savings
acc holder: Nadia Moola
I will disclose all funds received as well as every cent handed to the Istanbul based NGO upon request
Please chat via Whatsapp for any further queries: 0822154294
Kindly broadcast this appeal on to all your contacts to create maximum awareness of the dire plight of the needy refugees.
Much love ,