Part 249 – A War In My Head

As narrated by Nemo :

What did that mean???? Were they going to be moving away???

I couldn’t even bring myself to ask those questions as my own hidden thoughts reached up from my souls deepest ocean and began to pull me down with it. I didn’t want to think these thoughts but they were there, right at the front of my brain , flashing in bright red!

What if it was me and Aara getting married?

What if it was me who she smiled at shyly?

What if it was me sitting next to her , holding her hand?

But I would never do that….I’d never take her away from her home, from her family…

Was this his plan all along?

I felt an anger rising inside me..one that started suddenly and began to eat at me despite my silent protests…

“Well, I kinda left work” , Aara said candidly

What!? I didn’t think that Zoheb was the kind of guy who wouldn’t let his wife work! And how could Aara just agree!

I started loosening my tie out of irritation…

“But A…you love your job, why would you quit it? “, Maariah asked

Thank you Maariah!

“I do…but I love journalism more and guys, you know how I always say that I wish I had a chance to be a journalist of the world right…so this is my chance…I’m going to be freelancing! “, Aara said excitedly, her eyes lighting up immediately

Wait what? ??

“I never had the opportunity of doing this before so…Zoheb has offered to work around me so that I can fulfill this dream of mine and my parents won’t have any problem with it because I’ll be with my husband, so yeah that’s the out of S.A bit…we’ll be travelling every few months if everything goes according to plan ”

And just as quickly, all that anger dissipated…

I blinked my eyes to ward off tears that threatened to gush out frantically. It amazed and frightened me at the same time to see and know how much anything related to her affected me, even though I pretended that it didn’t. That feeling was untamed, and I would slowly need to learn to control it or do something about it.

Aara excitedly told us more about her plans, and all the while, Zoheb smiled at her proudly.

How could I not understand it? He was not just letting her fly…HE was her wings and her safety net .

He would drop everything to realise her dreams, and what could I possibly offer her in comparison to that. It wasn’t about material wealth, it was that feeling of selfless abandon…and it radiated through Aara’s eyes, so much so that her eyes sparkled. I have never seen her like this before.

“Wow…that’s just so amazing…but we will miss you man!” , Arshoo said softly

“We will miss you too…All of you…but maybe it’s a chance for all of us to grow individually..and as for our group, we’re bound by each others hearts aren’t we?” , Aara said , swallowing hard. And I knew that she too was trying not to cry…

Zoheb tickled her in her sides, making her laugh instead of cry…and if I didn’t know any better, I would honestly say that maybe, just maybe…He was probably her guardian angel, and maybe he cried so much watching her cry, that his duas were answered and he was written into her life to paint it with the many colours of love and happiness .

Zoheb was after all, Destiny’s card wasn’t he…someone who we didn’t know, and who came in and changed all our lives.

Aara’s tears were not shed in vain and I would sacrifice myself a hundred times over, for Zoheb to enter her life and make her as happy as she is now…

I went home that night and punched my punching bag until my knuckles had turned blue. I couldn’t allow myself to become what I was not and what I didn’t ever want myself to become. I was not a monster and I didn’t need to look for faults in Zoheb, that were not there in the first place.

I knew that it was going to be a very long road to accepting it, but in the interim I could atleast do it gracefully..to myself, for myself.

Nothing simply vanishes because you can’t have it, or because it’s out of your reach. I knew that the next week especially, was going to be emotionally difficult, and with 18 years of friendship to add weight to it, I wasn’t going to fight it.

Like everything, this too would run its course. I hope.

nn

nn2

zz

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17 thoughts on “Part 249 – A War In My Head

  1. Shaaaaaazzzz. You made me cryyyyy for Nemo. I love him!! He thinks he is not selfless, but …. But.. He just shows that!! The way he wants Aara to be happy, despite his heart bleeding!!!!!!

    How he looks at zoheb now, being her wings and safety net!!!!

    Mwan can Nemo surprise me more…. From not being his fan, to now loving him!!

    Forget Ayaaz… I think.. I think I’m taking nemo πŸ˜‰

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  2. 2 LLD posts in one day πŸ’ƒπŸ»πŸ’ƒπŸ»πŸ’ƒπŸ» Day made Shazia!! Zoheb is just the bestestestest 😍 Although my heart aches for Nemo is good to see how his processing everything ❀️ He needs to find his soulmate now 😜 Shazia thank you πŸ’

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  3. Awwwww man! This is so sad😒! This is the worst pain anyone can go thru, letting go of some one u love………….sweet of zoheb to let Aara follow her dreams.

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  4. Assalamualaykum,Hpe u well πŸ™‚ Shaz awww mahn,this was so heartbreaking😭!! I’v been on #teamnemo ever since I started following the blog (which is recently & btw u’v done an outstanding job MaaShaaAllah so much so dat I was glued to my phone)So anyway 4 him 2 b lyk dis is so……so….I can’t even express my pain😒! Pliz can I have him instead pweeeaaaseeee? *puppydogface*Zoheb is swt ,but I jus can’t bring myself 2 lyk him so much *whispers* “nemo this is all ur fault”………..My nemo 😒His is extremely swt,da way his keeping his pain inside in order 2 see Aara happy! *shouts like a psychopath* “I luv u Nemo” (I doubt he heard me tho) So my dearest shaz hv I eva tld u I luv u? Nw dat u no pweeeasseeee can u tll nemo I luv him 2?Anyway Thank u soo much 4 blessing us w/2 posts I was so happy I was literally lyk haaaaahhhh!!!!! SHE UPDATED!!!! It made my day so thank u,thank u,thank u!!! B4 I goo tho u r given me nemo ryt? RYT?!? Pweeeaaaseeee I’d do anything & by anything I mean even sharing w/u my Nutella & everybody knows dat nva happens ………so pweeeeeeaaaasseee?????? Anyway I hpe my nemo heals soon & will b abl 2 get thru Aara & Zoheb’s weddin week In Shaa Allah!!! If nt well I’m travelling 2 S.A 4 him!(ok enough of me nw,hpefully I ddnt scare u off yehh? I I dd well…….uhhhh……uhhhhrrrrmmm……..*hands u a red rose🌹?*…… Thanx agn Shaz,u rock :)Pass my Salaams 2 nemoπŸ˜‰Tc, & Assalamualaykum πŸ™‚ taaaataaaa βœ‹ *waves lyk a lunatic* Peace✌

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    • Wss. …Woah! I nearly fell off my chair πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I loved this comment! ! Like a mini Nemo essay but yoh it was entertaining πŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒ so good to feel the love from wherever u r in this big wide world…by the way where r u from?
      Nemo sends his love, salaams and a big sloppy kiss😘😘😘 lol if only hey….

      **waves like a lunatic right back at u and whispers to self….”I found someone from my own planet! “**

      Muuuch loooov 😘😘😘

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      • I’m 4rm jeeemmmmbaaabbbwwweeeeee aka Zimbabwe da land of…….uhhhh…….sadza? Yehhh sadza!Anyway r u srs??😊 lyk 4 real?? My neeemmmooooo sent me his luv,Salaams & a kiss!! Sum1 catch me,I thnk ima faint outta happiness! 2016 is officially made 4 meee!!! *got a cheesy smile on my face* ok so I hv a proposal,NEMO my luv my jaan will u marry me??pweeeaaaseeee??? Srsly im prepared 2 leave evritin 4 u so pweeeessseeee???? (Im nt a creepy stalker i swear)Anyway so Shazzy my homie,my person,m S-Bomb u’ll pass on my msg I hpe ;)Moving on yoooohhhhooooo finally sum1 wu gts me!Hellooo feelloooww marsian?How ya doin?? OK enough of me nw!! Taaaataaaa βœ‹ *signature lunatic wave* Peace ✌tc & Salaams πŸ™‚

        PS:🍩 4gt 2 pass my msg on 2 nemo πŸ˜‰

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      • I’m 4rm jeeemmmmbaaabbbwwweeeeee aka Zimbabwe da land of…….uhhhh…….sadza? Yehhh sadza!Anyway r u srs??😊 lyk 4 real?? My neeemmmooooo sent me his luv,Salaams & a kiss!! Sum1 catch me,I thnk ima faint outta happiness! 2016 is officially made 4 meee!!! *got a cheesy smile on my face* ok so I hv a proposal,NEMO my luv my jaan will u marry me??pweeeaaaseeee??? Srsly im prepared 2 leave evritin 4 u so pweeeessseeee???? (Im nt a creepy stalker i swear)Anyway so Shazzy my homie,my person,m S-Bomb u’ll pass on my msg I hpe ;)Moving on yoooohhhhooooo finally sum1 wu gts me!Hellooo feelloooww marsian?How ya doin?? OK let me b off nw!! Taaaataaaa βœ‹ *signature lunatic wave* Peace ✌tc & Salaams πŸ™‚

        PS:🍩 4gt 2 pass my msg on 2 nemo πŸ˜‰

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