So..I have a confession to make and I thought that I’d share it because I only realised it tonight! I “bought’ myself time when I promised back to back posts, and I thought that it would be easy because that was the plan, but the truth is that every time that I opened my laptop to type into my drafts, I wouldn’t go further than a paragraph. I was stuck. I had lost sight of the end. The end that was already in my head from the very first days of LLD. Life, friends,family, random strangers, random comments sometimes make you steer in a different direction. Not that I minded, I am quite strong headed to know where to draw the line but guess what, I sort of sunk under the line. The way that steam fills up a errrr…bathroom? And everything isn’t quite visible, and you can write on the bathroom mirror all you like but it’s going to disappear for sure. You get my drift right?
I’ve actually stayed away from my blog deliberately because too much of noise was filtering in, clouding my judgement, making me change what I wrote a million times over. Just the other day, I logged on and I saw the comments and I plucked up the courage to go into my older posts and I ended up re-reading a few. The very first ones could do with so much editing omg..lol..but they played a big part in being the windows that were opened to let out the steam. Bad comparison I know.
I still didn’t completely get it though. And I guess that the timing was right also. Because tonight while doing nothing extraordinary, I realised that this is the blog that brought so many blogs together. I am that mental author who put herself under pressure a zillion times before with all the truth and dare tasks that were mostly from memory and very unplanned, I left cliffhangers one too many times with a brief idea of what’s coming next and ended up with an elaborate version of it.
But the bottom line was, I wrote straight from my heart, yes my life was less crazier than it is now, but there was a passion, a burning, raging fire inside me that urged me to write and so I did, almost every day. And I have abandoned THAT blog and if I was a reader..damn I’d be pissed off!
I’m sorry and I’m not sorry too because maybe even this happened for a reason. It’s amazing how the different shades of life give you so many different perspectives, different experiences allow you the opportunity to see the other side, look on the other side of the fence, sit on that fence, jump off that fence and sometimes fall off that fence.
So this is me jumping that fence, although I may end up just opening the gate and getting there but the point, ladies and gentlemen is that, there has been a change! *Insert round of applause*
SO, without further ado, and I’ll probably slap myself in the morning because I’m in the middle of settling into a new place, it’s the busiest time of the year for me but I’ll challenge myself..it’s time to dig deep into my heart and bring you the end of a blog that we all love.
I’ll be sure to wear my helmet, just incase, you never know;0
Ok bye now
As narrated by Zainab:
Home. So many emotions attached to this four letter word. You never quite realise the value of “home” until you lose sight of it so much so that you find it hard to remember the way back.
It’s now almost four months since I am back home, with my family, where I belong. Every single moment that has passed in this time, I have savored and relished. My husband, my son, my family. My life was beautiful and I could have lost it all…
“What are you thinking about?”, Arshad asked me, as he wrapped his arms around me
I sighed and allowed myself to sink into his embrace..”About how lucky I am to have you..”
I never told him enough. I always took him for granted. I never appreciated any of his efforts. I always tried to change him.
I closed my eyes, trying to shut out those memories…
“I am the lucky one”, he whispered and kissed my right cheek
This phase that we were in was adorable! It felt as though we were newly married…I guess the part about making up holds a whole lot of truth. Advice is always given that treat your spouse the way that you did on the first day of marriage, and with our busy lives it’s almost impossible…but just almost.
Life is not perfect. It wasn’t ever meant to be. But glimpses of perfection always streamed through…that made you want to take that next step, leap, jump, do more…because of that one smile, because of the way in which he led you in salaah, because of the way he made you want to be a better you. It was these priceless moments and incidents that made your heart flutter and soar to heights that you never thought were ever possible. You wanted to be with them here, you prayed to be with them in Jannah…
“We had better start getting ready”, I said, turning around to face Arshad, “She’s going to have a fit when she sees all of us at the airport”
“Naah..as much as Aara hates the airport welcome and will probably call us typical indians, I’m pretty sure that she secretly enjoys it”, Arshad chuckled, “and besides I am going just to see my daughter in law”
Lol! Immy and Arshad had both told Zoheb when Hana was born that they wouldn’t mind being traditional and “book” this little cutie for one of their sons and playfully offered to pay a handsome mehr too!
I really missed Aara and Hana, it just wasn’t the same without them and we needed one of our all girl sessions badly!
The past year and a half has been extraordinarily strenuous in that…our group was shaken and tested and now things started falling back into place again. And I liked it, this was us, this was love, this…. was home.
As narrated by Riza:
“Don’t do that Riza!”, Laeeka scowled
“Don’t do what?”, I asked innocently. Because I was innocent, I had no idea what I had done!
“You’re laughing at me in your head because of how I’m walking!”
“Babe did you get like secret telepathic powers with this pregnancy?”, I joked
“So I was right, you were laughing?”
“Ohhhhh maannnnnn”, I laughed and squished her
“Don’t squish me!”, she moaned, ” I am hot and sweaty and my feet hurt like hell”
“Oh you are hot and sweaty”, I teased
“Yeah a hot and sweaty elephant!”, she barked back
“You look so cute Laeeks”, I said honestly
“Yes really”, I whispered, coming closer to her
“You’re lying I just know it!”
“The telepathic thing again?”
“You think this is funny! I can barely walk!” and she elbowed me!
“Well you wanted to come to the airport so now?”
“She’s started here too?”
“You just shut up Nemo, shut up and keep quiet!”, she barked again
“But if I shut up I will be keeping quiet right?”, Nemo grinned
I burst out laughing! I had to bare the brunt of Laeeka’s dangerous mood swings but Nemo had it no less either! The other day, she made him mow our entire lawn because he pointed out that the grass was getting a little long…
“Laeeka you okay?”, Maariah asked, with all the small boys in tow
“I will murder these two one of these days!”
“That’s if you can catch us first!” , Nemo laughed
Needless to say, we disappeared in a flash!
There was this beautiful feeling that wrapped itself around any airport. Someone special was coming or someone special was going. It was either the end of a journey, or the beginning of a new one. It was enthralling! And I never got tired of it! It just had a different vibe about it…
Our wait wasn’t too long as we caught sight of the Patel’s and Aara, coming through the arrivals. Our dolly Hana was asleep in her pram and Aara had a civilized smile on her face. Minus the Patel’s , she would have probably ran into us…and over us… with her trolley in excitement!
Look at it, she left here alone, eager to fulfill one of her husband’s wishes, to people who didn’t care about her…and she came back , wish fulfilled, and with all of them behind her.
It was one of those kodak moments that glued themselves onto your wall of memories, and years may pass, but that image remains..sometimes hidden…sometimes becoming so visible when you recalled the smallest, tiniest thing.
“Good to see you in the flesh Madame”, I said, smiling warmly at her
“Minus the heat, it’s great to be back”, Aara laughed and then didn’t let go of Laeeka for a full five minutes as both of them teared and tried to fill four months worth of talking in five minutes!
Another five minutes was spent with Zainab and Maariah going all senti and a further five with our boys jumping all over their “Aarala”, that would be Aara+Khala, before we headed off to Aara’s house.
I smiled at random people as I pushed Aara’s trolley, for no reason at all. Today was a good day, we’ve been through the worst, and if we were destined to see tomorrow, I had full faith in my Allah, that it would be a good day too..come what may.